Let's Talk About Rape — Empowering survivors, changing the narrative

I became pregnant as a result of sexual violence. It was very hard for me, but my mother was always there supporting me because she knew that it had not been my fault.

dominga

Indigenous Ixil Maya survivor of conflict-related rape from Guatemala

My name is Dominga Concepción Martínez Díaz. I am 56 years old and live in the Municipality of San Gaspar, Chajul, Quiché, Guatemala. In 1985, I lived in the Poyi’ Village, during the de Facto Government of General José Efraín Ríos Montt. Following the orders of Ríos Montt, the soldiers arrived in the community and destroyed everything. They burned down the house where I lived with my mother, but their reign of brutality didn’t end there. They were intent on causing as much pain as possible and did so by stealing my innocence. I was 17 years old when they raped me.

I became pregnant as a result of sexual violence. It was very hard for me, but my mother was always there supporting me because she knew that it had not been my fault. I had not asked to be raped. I gave birth to a baby girl; she has my last name as she is registered without a father in her documents. Now, my daughter is 38 years old. The most difficult thing for me was telling her about her roots, but she also understands that it wasn’t my fault. There are times when she tells me that her husband asks her about her father; the only thing she tells him is that she didn’t know him and that her father had died a long time ago. It hurts me deeply that my daughter must bear this weight. I never despised her because it’s not her fault either.

Our lives were very difficult after the arrival of the military since they stayed for a long time, seeing our bodies as objects to use for their pleasure and to satisfy themselves.

dominga

Let’s Talk About Rape® is a collaborative, therapeutic project empowering survivors to reclaim their narratives. Through self-portraiture using a shutter release cable, participants set their own agenda as a tool for healing.

Dominga, Ixil Maya (Chajul Quiché) Nebaj, Guatemala. 2024

Our lives were very difficult after the arrival of the military since they stayed for a long time, seeing our bodies as objects to use for their pleasure and to satisfy themselves. After I had my daughter, I went with my mother to the mountains to fetch firewood. We encountered the soldiers again. They grabbed me and raped me for the second time. They tied my mother up so that she couldn’t defend me, and I was raped in front of her. Due to both of those experiences, I became unstable; there wasn’t a day that sadness and fear didn’t erode my body. Now, I constantly get sick; it was all of the fear that remained in me, the sadness of not being able to seek help or find someone who could heal me and cure the trauma I live with. There is no medicine that would ever be able to help me or ease the psychological and emotional warfare I experience daily. We lived in fear, afraid of the thought of even having to go out anywhere.

After all of that turmoil, I wanted to rebuild my life and give my daughter a better life. I raised her alone and knew it was only down to me to make that a reality. I got into a relationship with a man who did not give me a good life. I confided in him and told him that I had been raped. His response was one of disgust, and he began mistreating me and beating me for what they had done to me. He always reproached me and told me, “You are not a good woman; you’re tainted because the soldiers raped you.” He didn’t understand that I couldn’t do anything; it’s not something I wanted. The arrival of the soldiers was unexpected; it was like when a person arrives by surprise—that’s how the soldiers came to my home. My life with this man was very difficult, and each time the beatings got worse. It was bad enough that he was violent with me, but he became more aggressive and hit my little daughter. That hurt me beyond words.

Dominga, Ixil Maya (Chajul Quiché) Nebaj, Guatemala. 2024

With him, I had three children and also experienced three miscarriages due to all of the beatings he gave me. On one occasion, he almost killed me. At that moment, I left the house and separated from him. Twenty-seven years ago, I met and got together with my current husband, a man who also knows what I went through. He supported me in raising my children, and we later had three children of our own. He continues to support me and extends that support to my children. He knows that I participate in the meetings and activities in the fight for change. Lately, my husband has been very sick; he was diagnosed with diabetes, and I do worry about his health and fear that something will happen to him. He has always been my crutch when it comes to coping with the consequences of everything I’ve experienced.

I got into a relationship with a man who did not give me a good life. I confided in him and told him that I had been raped. His response was one of disgust, and he began mistreating me and beating me for what they had done to me. He always reproached me and told me, “You are not a good woman; you’re tainted because the soldiers raped you.”

Dominga

It has also been very rewarding to meet different organisations. It is because of them that I was able to rid myself of the fear and pain of what I experienced. In addition to the wounds they left in our bodies and minds, they also left us living in poverty as they burned our houses down. I was left homeless, and it has been very difficult for us to start rebuilding our houses. Because of the war, I came to live here. We can no longer change the past, but we can change the present; that is why I want us to continue in this fight so that this doesn’t happen again.

We have always talked about some kind of support for the female survivors—an offering to help make steps to repair everything that was done to us. But apart from the organisations, it seems that no one listens to us. We are still here waiting and fighting with the greatest gratitude to those who never left our sides and fight with us.